


Fate Between Your Fingers

by 3x3



Category: Free!
Genre: And I cannot be trusted with titles in general, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, I use a lot of linebreaks, M/M, Makoto should be a therapist, Rin is crying and no one is surprised, Soulmates, Sousuke has emotional issues, Sousuke is more angsty than he usually is, except not really, he's insecure okay?, somebody please teach me how to tag, sort of, they talk so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 03:59:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7492956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3x3/pseuds/3x3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haruka waits.<br/>Sousuke never believed in soulmates.<br/>The red string of fate would lead you to your heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fate Between Your Fingers

When Haruka turned eight, his grandmother sat him down on her laps and said to him _See that red circle around your right pinkie? Follow it, and it will lead you to your heart._

His grandmother passed away the year after that, and he never had the chance to ask her what she meant, because _no, he could not see_ _the red circle._

No matter how many times he turned his palm upside down, or flashed his hand under a beaming light, he could not find any circle between his fingers, and Haruka began to doubt.

But his grandmother had never been wrong before.

So instead, Haruka waited. Waited for the circle to one day show up, so he could finally go find his heart.

He often wondered about that as well.

Wasn't his heart just sitting in his chest, thumping steadily to keep blood pumping through his veins? He was young, but _anyone_ knew that people cannot survive without a heartbeat. And Haruka was still breathing, alive and well, so that must mean that his heart was still working well. If his heart was just there, why would he need to be led to it?

He grew up with these questions, never finding the answers to either.

And he waited.

* * *

 

When he was twelve, Makoto brought it up for the first time, and he got caught off guard.

_They were destined to be with you, a perfect match,_ his friend had told him. _A_ _nd you would fit like two incomplete pieces of a whole puzzle. In order for you to find each other, fate ties you together with a single red string, with the two ends looped around your finger, to make sure that you are never too far away out of reach. Occasionally, people can snatch a glimpse at fate's strings, and they will always be there, sitting gently at the base of your fingers._

_What?_ Haruka had asked.

_Soulmates._ Makoto had put on a smile, warm as a beam of gentle sunlight on a winter day. _You other half._

_I am a complete person._ He had insisted. _I don't need no other half._

And even upon those words, Makoto never worded any disagreement.

They were friends since childhood, the two side of a coin. They never needed to say anything out loud for the other to understand their thoughts, and Haruka thought that it was enough for him.

He was never a greedy person, and Makoto was more than he could ask for. Haruka was content with having him as a friend, and didn't need anyone to come crashing into the picture, suddenly becoming his "perfect partner" despite not knowing anything about Haruka, but simply because they were destined to be.

If destiny was like that, then Haruka was sure that he doesn't want to live for its purpose.

He was his own person, and he will be who he wants to be, fate or no fate.

Yet he was still curious. About what his grandmother had said once upon a time, about finding his heart.

He was happy with how he was like. But still he wondered what it'll be like to find a string around his finger.

If this was what it's like to have a lost heart, what would it be like to have a heart that was found?

However a found heart would be like, it would involve having to take in the complete unknown, and Haruka didn't need any surprises. He liked his steady, predictable and familiar life.

So now he waits, with a caution.

* * *

 

Sousuke never believed in soulmates.

He's heard of the concept from time to time, mostly from giggling girls waiting for their "the one", and of course, from his red-headed best friend who was honestly a shoujo at heart.

_Just think about it, the second your eyes meet, you just know. And suddenly nothing matters anymore. They're shining, and the room darkens and fades away. They're standing under a spotlight, and it's all you understand._

Leave it to Rin to come up with the fancy words pulled straight out of a romance novel. Except he's a natural, and weaved through sentences even smoother than a spider weaves webs. He never had any trouble with people, charming everyone he meets, men and women alike with his quick wits and smart mouth, even if it wasn't in his intention; whereas Sousuke didn't need to utter a word, before people take in his large frame and muscular build, gloomy expression clouding his face, one glance into his murky green eyes, people remembered that they have no need to approach him, and steered clear away from his sight.

It's not like Sousuke minds it that much anyway, so he never tried to prove people otherwise.

He's not all that talkative, and he doubted that anyone would be interested in anything he says, so he stayed quiet. His silence did nothing to help with his image, only pushing people to confirm even further of what they think of him upon first sight. He decided at an early age, already enough to intimidate kids around him, that those people weren't worth his time.

Sousuke had never been one surrounded by many friends, but it's how he liked it. That way, all his friends would have to be like Rin, who he practically grew up with as kids, and would always have each other's backs; or Kisumi (though he'd never admit it out loud), who was persistent enough to befriend him even after countless of rejected invites and ignored calls. He would know that all his friends were there genuinely, accepting, and would not promptly judge him.

It's not easy for him.

It's why it's so hard for him to believe in soulmates. To think that there is a person out there just for him, there for him to confide in, to keep him company, and provide him support and a heart full of love, it sounded insane, almost to a point where it's ridiculous. It's like a story meant for children, for them to be nice to everyone, because you never know when you'd meet "the meant-to-be".

It's a fantasy that's too good to be true.

At least- for Sousuke, who can't even make up to a two-digit number of friends, scares most people away upon first sight, and drives away the rest ten words into conversation throughout his entire life. Maybe he's just not meant to be good for other people.

* * *

 

They were both 17, on the verge between kids and adults, or as Haruka likes to put it, a step away from becoming normal at 20, when they finally meet.

It was more of an obligation, for both parties.

Their respective best friends had just recently started dating, and thought that they should get to know one another.

Now normally Sousuke had no problem with Rin dating people, especially since Tachibana Makoto was a complete gentleman, and would never disrespect his friend. Sousuke had met the guy, and he was pretty decent, making the effort to keep the conversation flowing even when Rin had gone to the bathroom, leaving the two giants at the table by themselves. Because he was Sousuke, who doesn't like responding, and even when he did, two or three polite acknowledgements about the topic, it was fairly impressive, and Sousuke approved of the man.

But Makoto's friend? That's another new addition to the deal, and Sousuke doubts that a miracle could happen twice in a row.

* * *

 

It was like a surprise bomb. Rin's friend looked so cold it sent a silent shiver down Haruka's back.

The first thing about the man that caught Haruka's eyes was that he was _huge_. As a friend of Makoto's it shouldn't come off as such a surprise yet it still was. The second thing he noticed was that the man's eyes were a deep, calm green; darker than pools of still water. And they flashed with a sort of displeasure, like if he could melt into the ground to avoid this meeting, he would. However Haruka might relate to that feeling, he didn't like the feeling this man gave of.

* * *

 

"Yamazaki Sousuke." he offered his name a bit reluctantly upon Rin's urging.

The man shot him a slightly annoyed look, and Sousuke pushed down his discomfort because it's usually _him_ who started the glaring. "Nanase Haruka."

Silence hung between them as both teens proceeded to look away from each other.

......

"Look at you guys!" Makoto tried to intervene to make small talk, "already hitting it off! You have such a similar air! I mean both of you aren't fan for much conversation."

......

"That's pretty true." Rin went on calmly, though reluctantly.

"So just, try to get along. Get to know each other. It's always nice to make new friends isn't it, Haru?"

Haruka didn't reply, but a clear message shone from his eyes. _Why me?_

"Isn't it, Haru?" Makoto pushed, this time with a harder tone, implying that he was expecting an answer, whether Haruka liked it or not.

Leaf green eyes stared into sea blue ones, however gentleness they might carry, they still held a demanding aura in the air. Haruka stared right back, refusing to give in to him, but alas, to no avail.

"Sure. Maybe." he muttered as he broke eye contact.

Makoto smiled in relief, and started out the door with Rin.

"Please, though." Rin added, as he stuck his head back into the door. "Try to behave, alright?"

Haruka gave him an eye roll in slow motion.

Sousuke waved him off.

Rin hissed at both of them, before disappearing behind the other side of the door.

"Have fun." Sousuke called out after his back lazily. "And don't forget to use protection." he added for good measure.

He almost cracked a smile when he deliberately lowered his eyes away from the rude hand gesture Sousuke was positive that was aimed at him.

He turned back to the other man sitting across from him after the commotion died down.

"So." he started, because Nanase didn't look like he was making any sounds any time soon. "Nanase, is it?" he asked awkwardly.

"...Yes."

"You know those two are going way out of their path to make us 'hang out'."

"I don't mind."

And then there's that. They have nothing more to talk about.

Sousuke sighed. He thought that he can somewhat understand how other people felt when they were talking to him now, and sent a half-hearted silent apology to all.

* * *

 

Whatever magic might be at work, somehow Haruka gets along just fine with Sousuke.

Except it can't really be called "getting along" since they barely spoke after their first meeting. Even though they had each other's contact information, they'd never done anything with them, just kept them in their own phones. And when they bumped into each other on the streets, no words were exchanged, and only nods of acknowledgement.

But at least he doesn't flinch at the sight of Sousuke, and Sousuke's cool with that.

It went on like that for a pretty long time until a Sunday afternoon in July.

* * *

 

"Nanase."

"? Yamazaki?"

A phone call in the middle of the day. It was quite unexpected, and it certainly threw Haruka off, since it's not like they actually know each other well.

"Okay thank god that got through." Haruka heard a sigh of relief from the other side of the telephone.

"...Can I help you?"

"I need you to come over."

"?"

* * *

 

_Too troublesome._ It's what Haruka wanted to reply with, it's what he planned to respond with. But instead, he said, "Fine."

* * *

 

"So, that's your problem? Why did you think I can help with anything?" Haruka frowned.

"I wasn't sure if you could. But I didn't have that many choices." Sousuke replied, a bit cranky.

"Why can't you just get it down by yourself. You're certainly taller than I am."

Sousuke rolled his eyes and stretched out an arm. The cat flinched back and gave a loud hiss, eyes narrowing.

He gestured helplessly up at the angry fur ball covered in black from head to tail. The scowl on its tiny face looked quite permanent. Its back was arched, and it had the ends of its pelt puffing up like it had just recently been electrocuted.

"Why me? Why not Rin or Makoto? Or some other of your friends?" _if you have any._ Haruka glanced absentmindedly at the kitten.

"Rin's not much of an animal charmer himself, even though animals _do_ prefer him over me. But he's out on a date with Makoto, so that crosses two people out automatically."

"And...?"

Sousuke glared at him. "And as much as it may sound surprising, I don't have that many friends."

"I'm shocked." Haruka said with a deadpan.

"Don't mock me." Sousuke growled. "Anyhow you look like someone who _isn't_ hated by animals."

Haruka hummed halfheartedly.

"So can you do it?" Sousuke ran a hand through his hair.

"Maybe." he directed his steady gaze up at the cat with all its claws out and clinging on the branch like it was dear life.

Sousuke raised his eyebrows at Haruka, like _well, what are you waiting for? Work your magic!_

He shot him a pointed look and focused back on the cat. It was still cowering on the high branch.

Haruka stretched out his arms, and even though the kitten was still very much high up away from his hands, it seemed to calm down, flattening the fur behind its scuff.

_Yes, that's it. Good cat._ Haruka eyed the cat gently, softening his facial expression just a tiny bit. The cat stopping hissing, and was now cautiously venturing down to a lower branch. Sousuke stood on the side, eyes wide and jaw slack. Haruka ignored him.

He'd never understood why animals seem to like him so much. Sure they would stick to Makoto like glue if his friend happened to be there, but otherwise, animals are constantly hanging around Haruka. He didn't mind. And it _does_ come in handy occasionally, like at a time like this.

Haruka blinked.

The cat jumped lightly down from the trees and into his arms. Haruka gave the kitten a well-deserved stroke. It closed its eyes and purred with pleasure.

He turned to Sousuke, giving the teen a blank look. Sousuke was still gawking with disbelief.

"How?" he asked after opening his mouth and closing it back on.

Haruka replied with a shrug. The cat gave a sound of annoyance at the bounce.

"That never worked on me! Also you literally just stood there and waited until it jumped on you. What? You're telling me you conquered its heart with your piercing gaze?"

"Yes, how'd you find out?"

Sousuke face-palmed. "I mean, seriously."

Haruka huffed, then looked awkwardly to the side of the lane.

"Alright. It may or may not have a bit to do with the fact that I just had saba for lunch."

If people's real life expressions could be described using keyboards, Sousuke would have exclamation marks sprouting on top of his head.

Haruka started walking away, the kitten's tail still curled around his arm, with Sousuke hurrying after him after snapping out of his trance.

"Oi Nanase! That's cheating!"

* * *

 

That somehow provoked things between them. Now what replaced the strained acquaintance was an odd but easy friendship. Simple conversations flowed, and they also had a mutual silence when needed. It also helped that Sousuke felt like he didn't have to push himself to talk to Haruka. They were both fine with how things are, and there's also no pressure in replying whatever the other had said.

"Since when did _you_ start making friends?" Rin had joked with him, kicking him in the legs playfully.

"Gee Rin." He'd said bored, "Now that I'm starting to gain popularity you should probably start asking for my signatures."

"Haru! I'm so proud of you! You're socializing with other people!" Makoto nearly cried like a parent whose kid just graduated after being held back two years in a row.

"Whatever." Haruka had muttered under his breath.

* * *

 

Needless to say, things seem like they were going fairly well. Sousuke still haven't hit the double digits yet, but for a guy like him, even just adding one more is pretty impressive.

They sometimes talked on the phone. About the most minor things about life, or simply how their weeks have gone.

During those talks, Haruka shared a lot about himself. How he's basically been living on his own since middle school, and therefore learned how to cook pretty decently. How he eats saba almost all three meals a day. How he's sort of waiting for his soulmate, even if it's just out of curiosity. (This was only hinted very very subtly, since he was too embarrassed to admit it out loud to just about anyone. He didn't think anyone would understand it.) Also how he just _can't_ live without water, but the only reason that he's in his local swimming club is because Makoto had dragged him into it.

And in return, he felt like he learned a lot about the dark brooding man who was Rin's best friend.

For example, how he was a single child, and that he doesn't particularly look like any of his parents. That even though he didn't admit it out loud, he was horrible at directions, and could get lost just about anywhere, even in his own neighborhood. ("Get a GPS." Haruka had advised. "Screw you." came the respond.) Also that he used to be a champion butterfly swimmer until high school, when he wrecked his shoulders. It wasn't the happiest story, but Sousuke seemed like he was over it already. ("You gotta accept life sometimes.")

Haruka didn't know what to think of it, considering he himself also swims, and could not even come to imagine what his life would become if he no longer swim, but didn't pursue the topic. It was just unlike either one of them to chase after what they had done talking about.

And sometimes he wasn't sure if it had just been his imagination, but he felt the slightest of tugs on his pinkie finger.

He wondered if it was what his grandmother had said, about finding his heart, and what Makoto said about soul mates. He knew from the beginning that he would be fine just the way he was, but he still thinks about whatever- whoever is attached at the end of his red string.

* * *

 

It continued nice and all, and sometimes the four of them hung out, at a nearby cafe or crashing at Haru's house, since usually he was the only one who lived in the Nanase household. And then Rin dropped the bomb in mid-January.

"What do you mean you're leaving for Australia?"

"Look," the red-head pursed his lips. "I'm sorry I haven't talked to you about this earlier, alright? But this is really important to me! I'm finally one step closer to my dream! I can't stay here forever, and now I have the boost that I need to chase after my future!"

"Okay." Haruka nodded, regaining his posture after quickly recovering from the slight shock. "Does Makoto know?"

"Of course." Rin frowned. "What do you take me for? I told him as soon as I got the news."

"And he's okay with it?"

Rin fidgeted with the hem of his jacket. "You know, Haru." he sighed, "Long-distance is tricky. But we've talked about it- me and Mako. And we decided to give it the best shot we have."

Haruka nodded as he took another sip from his tea. "I see."

Rin narrowed his eyes a bit. "Really? That's all? I have to say I expected much more of a nagging from you."

Haruka scoffed. "There's nothing to say about it. You've made your decision, do whatever you like."

"Yep, that's something you'd say."

"Congratulations, I guess." Haruka offered good-naturedly.

"Heh, thanks." Rin gave his signature toothy grin.

"Did you tell Yamazaki yet?"

Upon that, Rin's smile faltered a bit. "Yeah, about that." he scratched his head. "I'm not sure how I'm able to break it to the big guy."

"Just tell him."

"I'm not sure he can handle this well enough."

"Well," Haruka reasoned. "You've got to tell him one of these days. You can't just leave him hanging and then expect him to automatically know when you leave Japan."

"I know that!" Rin complained. "I'll talk to him, but I've got to think it _through_."

"I don't see what's so hard about it." Haruka muttered quietly.

"Well, then." Rin smiled softly. "You don't know Sousuke."

* * *

 

It was nearly two weeks later than that when he received a call.

"Haru?"

"Yes?"

"I messed up."

"Rin?"

The teen's voice from the other side of the phone sounded like he had just been crying.

"What happened with Yamazaki?"

"I didn't do it on purpose, I swear! But I didn't know it would _upset_ him so much." Rin's voice was filled with panic.

"How bad is it?" Haruka let out a tiny huff.

"I don't know, I just told him, and he fell unusually quiet. Look, I'm going to need some damage control."

Haruka sighed. "I'll talk to him."

"You will?" Rin sniffed.

"Sure."

"Thanks Haru, I owe you one." he breathed out in relief.

"I'll hold you to that."

"Of course." Rin finally cracked out a laugh. "And, Haru?"

"Hm?"

"Please don't be too hard on him."

"Okay."

* * *

 

Sousuke didn't know what to think.

So he sat on his bed, mind blank, facing the dark screen of his turned off phone.

And he thought that he might've heard something break.

He looked down at his right hand, looked at the crushed vase in his palm, and inspected the jagged, sharp remains on the floor, glistening like tears under the white light of his room.

And he watched as the blood start to drip.

The blood splattered onto the tears, but he didn't clean them up.

His open wound was raw and red.

He didn't know what to think.

* * *

 

"Yamazaki."

"Nanase?" he voiced his question out loud when he opened the door the find the blue-eyed man standing in his hallway.

Haruka's gazed dropped, and he looks genuinely startled, breaking his poker face. "What happened to your hand?" he made it sound like more a statement rather than a question.

"Nothing." Sousuke hid his white, freshly bandaged hand behind his back. "Uh, what are you doing here?"

"None of your concern."

"You're in the doorway of _my house._ " Sousuke pointed out.

"Yes." Haruka nodded, "Are you going to invite me in?"

Sousuke shook his head in disbelief, but let the shorter teen in anyways.

"So what brings you to interrupt my nice weekend? May I add that this is the only time I get to come home?"

"Your loss for choosing a boarding school." Haruka muttered quietly.

"Hey don't think I didn't hear that." Sousuke sat down at his dining table. "You want to talk? Talk."

Haruka took a seat across from him.

"Rin told you the news." he went straight to the point.

He could see Sousuke visibly stiffen. "So?"

"He said that you were upset."

"He did, didn't he?" his voice was tight, guarded. Like a rubber band being stretched thin, and just lacks a trigger to send it off flying.

"Rin's just going to Australia."

"Yes. Like _that's not just on the other side of the world or something._ "

"Yamazaki don't be a drama queen." Haruka rolled his eyes.

"I'm not. Okay?"

A still air lay thick between them over the table. The tension was slowly leaking in, swirling and building up like a heavy wall.

"It's his dream since he was a kid, you of all people should know that-"

"Would you stop giving that? It's not like I haven't heard _that_ speech before."

"It's the truth."

"I said stop giving me the same old thing."

"What if I don't?" Haruka raised his eyebrows and eyed Sousuke as if he was challenging him.

"Look, Nanase." Sousuke's tone sounds carefully controlled, and mildly dangerous, but Haruka was having none of that. "I find you alright, but if you insist on digging this topic this will _not_ end well."

Haruka looked at him blankly. "Yamazaki, it's his _dream._ "

"Okay you just crossed the line." Sousuke let out a deep breath. "Listen, you don't get it."

"From how _I_ see it, you're just jealous. You _did_ used to be a champion swimmer. And now that he's got the chance to go professional, you're feeling wistful that you never got the chance."

Sousuke was practically flaming now.

"You know _nothing_ about it, alright?" Sousuke's voice echoed in the small room, and bounced off the walls. There was a fire burning in his deep green eyes and his whole face was scrunched up in anger.

"I know enough to know that all you're doing is running away." Haruka retorted. "You never gave another try after your setback. So I don't believe it when you say you love swimming. You're afraid of it, and it's killing you. But you're not even trying to put up a fight." That was the longest sentence he'd heard Haruka say in all the while Sousuke had known him. It had stung like hell.

"You think I haven't _tried?_ It's _beyond repair just ask my doctor!"_

The hard edge in Haruka's tone dropped slightly. "Then you should just move on from it. What happened to 'You gotta accept life sometimes'?"

Sousuke took the time to look into Haru's eyes, expecting to find distaste in them, as he'd come to expect from people over all the years when they'd heard about his pathetic state. However, all he found was anger, mixed with pity.

It only enraged him further.

_He didn't need pity from anyone._

"Wimp." the sound was so light Sousuke almost thought he started hallucinating. If he hadn't saw Haruka's lips move and the change of light in his gaze he would have lost it in the air.

He felt himself tick, eyes widening with a wild glint. " _What?"_

"Coward." Haruka said calmly, his glare icy and still.

Sousuke slammed his fist on the table. The legs trembled wobbly. "Say that again." the undertone was thick in his voice.

"You're a coward."

"You never know when to stop, do you?" he stood up abruptly, breathing hard, chest rising and falling violently, shoulders shaking.

"Well maybe I don't. Maybe I won't ever if _you don't stop running away._ Keep doing that you'll be left with _no one._ Only yourself to lick your wounds."

"In case you didn't notice, _all of us are alone!_ " he threw his hands up dramatically. "Oh wait, is it because you're still attached to it?"

"What are you getting at?" Haruka asked defensively.

Sousuke barked out a dry laugh, bitter and raw. "Do you honestly believe in that soulmate junk, Nanase?"

" _Excuse me?"_ Haruka growled through gritted teeth. He knew that Sousuke wasn't in the most ideal state right now, and wasn't quite in his right mind, but Haruka still found it difficult to push down the wave of rage surging through his body, making him see red.

"You heard it alright." Sousuke shook his head, dazed. "What's the point? It's not like people actually _stay._ "

"Yamazaki." Haruka tried to keep his tone level. "Even Rin is leaving for Australia, you have no right to attack like that. You know, even his own boyfriend isn't _this_ upset. What is it with _you?_ "

"It's not the same, alright?" Sousuke very nearly screamed out. "It's different! It's not like Makoto is all alone! It's not like _he's_ losing just about every connection he has with the social world! I'm not _like him!_ I don't have anyone _else! It's just. It's always been Rin and I. From the beginning. And I always thought that was how it was going to end._ But now he's just _gone._ "

"Did you know that Rin was worried about you? When he told me the news he was distraught, because he wasn't sure how he could make you accept his decision. I thought it was funny that he had to. It honestly surprised me when he called me on the phone to tell me about you. But now I see that he totally had the right to worry. He had a _reason_ to worry. He _knew_ this wasn't going to end well yet he still told you, and you just proved his guesses right."

"Well I mean it certainly stopped _him from leaving._ " Sarcasm dripped heavily from Sousuke's voice.

"You're being irrational Yamazaki. Calm down and clear your head for a bit." Haruka snapped, narrowing his eyes. It kind of stung. Anyone other than him, _anyone at all,_ would know better than to yell at a disorientated person. Yet he could not make out anything else.

"There's just no point. I can't keep up with him anymore."

"You're being selfish." Haruka told him boldly. "Rin finally got the choice to chase his dreams, and all you want to do is keep him tied by your side."

"SHUT UP! Would _you_ do any better?! After all you would know the best since it's exactly what _you do!_ You're so hung up about your little fantasy with little red strings around your finger, and _you refuse to move on._ Can't you just accept that there's no such thing as _destiny_ or _fate_ or whatever you please to call the _mystery force that makes everything happen for a reason?_ Grow up already! We only have reality here, and know what? Even those who are closest to you- who have been there for all your life, the _one true friend who would never abandon your protagonist in your story_ , they could just leave any moment. And then you'd be all alone. Because this is no fairytale, and whether you like it or not, people _leave you,_ and when you get hurt, there _is no_ prince charming at the other end of your little string waiting to make everything alright again, and create your happily ever after."

The words were like a slap across Haruka's face.

Because he did _not_ just use this against Haruka. How dare he? How _dare he make fun of Haruka's beliefs?_ It's not the speech about facing real life that did it. No. If Haruka didn't see reality clear at it is, he'd be living a much easier life of all oblivion. What really struck a nerve, or rather, all of his nerves, was how Sousuke could just dismiss the idea of there being people who _cared._ There's _always_ someone who cares, whether what kind of horrible state one might be in. If Haruka had learned _anything_ from his grandmother, this would be it. _The world is a dark place filled with numb people. They go on with their lives never knowing about others. That's why god tied a red line on each and every one of our fingers. Whenever we feel down, or sad, just remember that the string would always be there. Unmoving._

As a child Haruka had questioned it. _I thought the string led people to their hearts._

_Yes, they do._ His grandmother had mused. _That is exactly why. However it may seem like when the whole world had turned against you, your heart will always stay true. It would know what's best for you, and once you find it, it will never leave again, because there is simply no surviving without a heart._

There was always someone there, whether people choose to think about it or not. And it's just not right to throw it all away.

But there Sousuke was, tall, towering, and _steaming._ His eyes spewed of fire and fury. There he was, denying his own heart. Denying _everyone's hearts._

"You know you should be thankful of this." Sousuke's voice was thin as ice, waiting for the right moment to impale its shards deeply into anything moving. "You should be thankful that I'm breaking it out for you. Now you'll see there's no point trying to hang on to your dreams. They go out as easily as people."

That did it. The last straw killed the camel.

Haruka felt like he'd just been stabbed. He looked down at his spilled guts limp on the ground.

_"Get out."_

"This is my house." Sousuke reminded him steadily.

"I don't care. _Get out."_

Haruka then proceeded to shove Sousuke out of the door. For a person his size, his was pretty strong. Not much people could do anything with Sousuke when he didn't want to move.

The door slammed shut after him.

"You know you're going to have to leave soon, right? So what you're doing is actually pointless-"

The door opened again, and a flash of light poured through, splashing into the hallway.

"You really are an asshole after all." is all Haruka said before closing on him the second time.

"Just when I was starting to think otherwise." Sousuke thought he might've heard through the heavy door.

He sat down against the door, and his back slid from the surface.

He sighed.

Things never work out for him in the way that he wanted.

So he just sat there, outside his apartment door and under the air vent.

It was a bit cold.

* * *

 

He stood on the other side of the door, head down, figure trembling from anger. Haruka held up his hand and looked at his bare finger.

His heart is all over the place, and nowhere at all. It couldn't be made sense of anymore.

* * *

 

" _How_ do you deal with it?"

"Eh? What?" Makoto spluttered over his cup of water.

"Your boyfriend's leaving for Australia. And god knows when he'll be back. Aren't you at least _a little bit worried?_ " Sousuke asked, pacing back and forth across the room, clearly distressed.

Makoto watched him in silent. It had caught him completely off guard when his mother called for him about "having a friend at the door". He didn't know who would come for him at a time like this. Rin should be busy packing and his parents know Haru like family, but when he found Sousuke hanging around awkwardly, making polite small talk with his mother, it gave him quite a shock. He had quickly ushered the teen to his room. Now said teen was fretting all over the place, like he didn't know what to do with himself.

"I... Of course I get worried and all but... what brings you here again?"

"You BFF came over. We had a talk which resulted in him taking over my house and locking me out."

"Wait Haru _locked you out of your house?_ "

"Pretty much."

"I-" Makoto looked like he wanted to say something, but gave up after a second though. "I'll deal with that later. Right now you were saying something about Rin?"

"He's going to Australia." Sousuke confirmed.

"Yeah, about that... It's not really something we can intervene with is it? It _has_ been his lifelong goal. It's just wrong to hold him back from it." Makoto scratched his head and smiled gently.

"But he's just leaving like that. Like life in Japan doesn't even matter to him. Like he doesn't care." Sousuke pushed on.

Makoto frowned. "That's not true. If he didn't care than he wouldn't bother staying for this time and just go already. He wouldn't bother telling us about it because no one would mind. Actually, he cares about it a bit too much, getting all worried about breaking the news to us. It's not like we're going to try to keep him here. We could never do that to him. Anyways, he's not gone forever. He'll be visiting a _whole lot_ , knowing Rin. Or on second thought, maybe not _that_ much. After all, he needs to focus on his swimming."

"Wouldn't it be just _weird_? Without Rin?"

"Sure." Makoto shrugged. "I'll miss him for sure. But that's not enough reason for him to _stay_. I am _not_ going to be the reason that he never achieves his dreams. Besides, who's to say that long-distance relationships are doomed to fail? We're going to prove that stereotype wrong, Rin and I."

Sousuke stares at the man in front him with disbelief. He just has _so much confidence._ Sousuke thinks that he might be seeing a golden halo floating above his head and grand white wrings sprouting on his back.

"You are a literal angel, Tachibana Makoto." Sousuke shook his head.

"Eh? What?" the teen fumbled a bit, flushing red.

"You're too nice for your own good." Sousuke told him.

"Yeah?" he laughed helplessly.

Sousuke thought about what he'd just heard. And he decided that sometimes by letting go he could take in much more.

Like words of wisdom, maybe.

* * *

 

He called Rin after that, to present the well-deserve, way late apology.

"It's fine." his friend's voice was joyful from the other side. "I knew you'd get over you angst butt one of these days."

"Don't push it." Sousuke joked. Then wondered in amazement how Rin managed to stick out his tongue at Sousuke _over the phone._

"Anyways, glad you're doing better."

"Yeah." Sousuke felt a lump at the base of his throat, and suddenly felt the urge to laugh because Rin is the sentimental one. Sousuke was the guy with a steel heart, who didn't break out even a tear watching _The Lion King._ (" _His dad just died are you seeing this??_ ")

"Sorry I freaked you out."

Rin scoffed. "I did not 'freak out'."

"Oh yeah?" Sousuke smirked. "That's different from what I heard from Nanase."

"Speaking of Haru, how'd your little talk go?"

"Ahh." Sousuke did a mental face palm. "That's right, I still have to apologize to him."

"What did you do?"

"More like what he did to _me_. He locked me out of my house!"

"I bet you deserved every bit of it."

"Cruel. This is bloody betrayal Matsuoka."

"Welp, good luck." Rin said with glee. Sousuke could just imagine the huge grin he was pulling just now. "Call me if you're still alive after this."

"Oh, to hell with you." Sousuke complained.

Rin cackled happily.

* * *

 

Sousuke stood awkwardly outside his door. Judging by the way it's still locked, he's guessing that Haruka hasn't left yet.

He promptly considered to just pull out a spare key, but decided against it. After all, he still needed to talk to Haruka.

He wondered if he should just call him on the phone instead.

Finally, he gathered enough guts and knocked on the door.

The lock clicked.

The door was opened to a tiny length, and Haruka was on the other side, looking majorly pissed, as if Sousuke had just punched his great-grandmother.

"What? Yamazaki." Haruka growled.

It almost made Sousuke flinch. He knew that since Haruka is still there, he must be still angry, but he didn't think it would look this _scary._

"Ahem." he cleared his throat a bit.

"I asked you a question Yamazaki. Either answer it or go away."

"I......"

Haruka was still shooting him the infamous death glare, and Sousuke clenched his fist once, to gain courage.

"I... Nanase, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you for trying to help. And I shouldn't use your belief against you."

Sousuke wasn't sure if it was a trick of the light, but he thought he saw the flames flickering in Haruka's eyes flatten down just a bit.

"Can I... come in?" he stiffly gestured towards the door, still very much half-closed.

Haruka seemed to consider that for a bit.

"Fine, come on in." his tone was flat as he open up the door.

Sousuke almost felt like cheering after an epic home run as he finally reentered his house.

Haruka stood to the side, hanging around indifferently.

"Ah, right." Sousuke turned to the other teen. "I'm sorry. Truly. I wasn't thinking straight, but that is no excuse."

"It wasn't." Haruka agreed. "Against my better judgment, you are forgiven."

"So...Are we good?"

Haruka tilted his head to the right, and let a tiny smile escape his lips. "Yes."

* * *

 

They all went to the airport to see Rin off, despite the red-head's protests.

_I'm not missing any chance to see Rin cry his eyes out._ Is what Sousuke gave as a reason.

And to nobody's surprise, Rin _did_ end up in tears. Despite the tough demeanor he wanted to pass off as, he was a huge ball of sap, and unexpectedly sentimental on just about everything. It might have something to do with the fact that he was a huge romantic, and tended to over think everything.

"This is it, then. I'm really leaving Japan." he said between sobs. Makoto patted him on the head.

"Oh grow up." Sousuke rolled his eyes at his friend. "It's not like you're going to another _planet._ And aren't you just going to end up visiting again and again because you literally cannot keep away from all our awesomeness?"

"Pipe it down, big head." Rin shoved him lightly. "One day you ought to get in trouble with your big mouth and your stupid sass."

"No I won't." he said smugly.

"Alright you two, cut it off." Makoto smiled softly. "What time does your flight take off Rin?"

"It's fine, we've still got time." Rin grinned as he pushed his red strands out of his eyes. "I'm really going to miss you, Mako."

"Me too, but we'll be in touch. We can write e-mails, or even Skype."

"I guess you're right."

"And remember, you're calling us as soon as you get there." Makoto reminded sternly.

"Yes, I got it mom. Stop being such a worry wart." Rin rolled his eyes affectionately.

"Rin." Makoto said in mock horror. "Are you getting _tired of me? Don't you love me anymore?_ "

"If you ever think of giving up on your relationship I will come swooping _right in_ and take Makoto as my own." Sousuke added helpfully in all seriousness quickly.

"No! That'll mean I have to hook up with _Haru._ " Rin wrinkled his nose as Haruka gave him the stink eye. "Haru, keep an eye on him would ya? Please don't let him steal my boyfriend."

Haruka looks reluctant, but at last nodded gravely. "You don't deserve Makoto." he told Sousuke.

"Rude."

* * *

 

They watched as the flight take off, soaring through the open air like a glorious predator.

It seemed like something Rin would enjoy doing, despite the fact that he was _on the plane._

Well, someone has to carry out his bucket list.

_Follow the line, it will lead you to your heart._

Haruka inspected his finger closely.

It's still how it's always been his whole life, pale, nimble, the nail chipped.

But he thinks that maybe, just maybe, his heart is already found.

And if he catches a glimpse of red string, well, that'd just be pushing his luck.

**Author's Note:**

> On a irrelevant matter, the cat on the tree actually belongs to Sousuke's neighbor.  
> I'm sorry for the ooc-ness, but this is sort of an alternate universe in which they never met before.  
> And I apologize because the story sort of spiraled out of control and before I knew it it's going in a complete different direction than I intended. But overall I like how it turned out.  
> This is literally the longest story I had ever written, and I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.  
> I'm thinking of making this into a series... preferably next time actually making it about soulmates  
> And as always please leave a kudos and comment! Thank you!


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